终于，我明白了。

我终于找到我们分开的原因了。
我们分开并不是感情淡了。
也不是我对你没了感觉。
我很清楚的知道，
喜欢你那么久，是不会因为在一起久了
觉得倦了，烦了

一切是我个人的问题。
因为从小缺乏安全感，
从小就被灌输这种教导，
全世界，除了自己，别人都不能相信。

所以，当你对我好。
我会害怕，害怕这些美好的东西
随时消失。
我开始把对你的感情，全部收起来。
慢慢的疏远你，开始提防你。
对你冷漠，不理不睬。
渐渐的，我们的距离开始变大了。

我现在不是在解释。
我很尊敬你的决定。
现在的你， 身边多了个“她”
我学着放开，
学着看破，一切的一切。
等我学会放开，我会祝福你们的。

现在我只想告诉你：
冷漠是我的保护色，请你不要把我最后的防卫线给毁了。

Y.O.U.S

YOU #1
Have I ever told you that you looked so good in black Polo tees and jeans
Have I ever told you that the watch on your left wrist suits you so much
Have I ever told you that I like your nose so much
Have i ever told you that you're the first guy i'd known who loved green tea so much
Have I ever told you that I've been stalking you
Have I ever told you that when you don't talk you looked like an ice sculpture
Have I ever told you that I wanted you to know my existence

YOU #2
Have I ever told you that I don't treat you as a brother anymore
Have I ever told you that I actually waited for your texts
Have I ever told you that I like your smile
Have I ever told you that you 4500 watt smile could melt me on the spot

YOU #3
Have I ever told you that I have never stop liking you
Have I ever told you that I regret not holding on to you tight
Have I ever told you that the memories you gave were so good that I don't have the courage to think about them
Have I ever told you that I hate that bitch beside you
Have I ever told you that it hurts to see you
Have I ever told you that I tried and tried to forget you but failed
Have I ever told you that I hope to see you happy

SKYSCRAPER

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence, as it's ending
Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like
There's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you, feel better
To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here, watch you disappear
Yeah oh
Go run, run, run
Yeah, it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Oh Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

(Like a skyscraper) huh huh huh

Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

UNFORTUNATE EVENTS KEPT ROLLING IN

MENTALLY DOWN RIGHT NOW.
Nothing has been right since yesterday.

Yesterday morning, before going to school,
I accidentally locked my room with the key inside.
Mom turned on her scolding+nagging button
and nagged like there's tomorrow

when I came back from school,
My dear cell phone was nowhere to be found.
I searched every nook and cranny and guess where i found it?
ON MY BED. ARGGGHHHH.

AND TODAY, i tried logging in to blogger for like 1489643725826497528698765390924 times
and failed.
when i finally did, I was tired and forgot what i wanted to write.

And then my two bratty cats caught a lizard to play with it.
A LIZARD.
Damn, I am stuck in my room now.
Because they left the corpse right in front of my door.
I gotta wait for mom to comeback and clean it up.
OH GOSHH, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG THESE DAYS?

I'M TIRED OF EXPECTING FOR MIRACLES TO HAPPEN. :(

Read for yourself.

A little Flower, everyone's favourite.
Of course, flowers are pretty, needs protection, lovely, smells nice, what more to say a Small Flower?
A SMALL FLOWER, needs MORE attention, needs MORE care, needs MORE love.

YOU BITCHES ARE LIKE SMALL FLOWERS.
acting so demure, soft spoken, quiet, adorable and all your silly acts in front of guys,
made them fall head and heels over you,
made them crazy over you.
What do you gain?
A TON OF GUYS.

SO WHAT?
I don't really give a damn you know.
You want guys you get them
BUT WHY DID YOU TOUCH THE GUY I WANTED SO MUCH?
And, now you got him.
Yeah, and I'm the jealous loser looking at the both of you
Crossing my fingers that you would break up.
Yes, I AM THAT SELFISH.
LOVE IS SELFISH.

SO, that's why, I want to be a strong big tree.
I don't want to become BITCHES like you.
NO, I want to be loud, strong and hard
try and hurt me. TRY ALL YOU WANT!
It won't hurt me. NEVER EVER.
IM A STRONG TREE! :)

Blogger has to change everything back!

You see what I mean about being very busy? when I finally signed in Blogger changed EVERYTHING. LITERALLY. Ack, when I decided to change to Pixnet, IT'S EVEN WORSE BLOGS SHOULD NOT BE SO CONFUSING! Well, first things first. I'm still well and breathing ( I tend to say this everytime I write a new post) Grew a few pimples over the months. (ITS ALL BECAUSE OF STRESS!) and yeah, grew mature, of course. SPM is like in less than one month, NO, i don't do countdowns and I gotta study ALOT SO...... That's practically what I've been up to these days. STUDY STUDY STUDY Asian's teaching system is so rigid. ME NO GUSTA :( I STILL CANT GET USED TO THE NEW BLOGGER :((

OMG~ My blog is so empty

OH MY GAWSHHHHH! Last post was last year!
Hehehehe. FYI, I'm still alive.
Well, learnt a lot of things this year.
I learnt to be strong
I learnt to put on a fake face
I learnt to not cry so easily
I learnt to laugh really LOUD!
I am happy like that.
I dont need people's sympathy.
I am alright.

So, you happy now?
I am like a loser waiting for you.
Thank you for making me learn so many things.
I am strong now.
I dont cry as much as i did before.
Thank You.


Exams coming up real soon.
Gotta Go!
P/S: i have a feeling this will be my last post this year. Busyyyyyy -.-