Guys

(Disclaimer: This post is not meant to bash anyone or anything. If anything you find hurtful please accept my utmost sincere apologies)

As the title suggested, this post is about well, guys.

Not that I have lots of experience or anything.

In fact I've only had two short relationships during my secondary school days. And got dumped twice. (Not that it's anything to be proud of, just so you know)

So before you go on and judge me, I'm actually kinda pathetic in this area.

As in L.O.S.E.R pathetic.

I have friends around me who have stable boyfriends for years.

And I really wonder how they actually maintain it. And why can't I?

Then there's also relationships that go on forever and boom ended suddenly.

What's the problem actually?

To me, guys are something that's hard to understand

You never know what's going on in their little minds.

They're like faulty traffic lights, giving off mixed signals.

Green lights and red lights all mixed up,

One day they're all for you,

and the next day you'd see a different person.

At least most of the guys I met were like this. 

I don't mean all. 

I mean seriously? What the hell was all that shizz for if you didn't mean it?

Why say I love you when you don't?

Why start the relationships when you're not sure.

Why even come and give people the impression that you actually care?

Love is a BIG word.

You don't love EVERYONE.

Responsibility comes with love

when you love someone you're responsible for that someone.

And not hey, I love you

Then the next day, Um, maybe I don't love you anymore.

You'd never know what kind of impact your words will have on the girl.

Every word, every punctuation could affect us.

SO, the next time you 'love' someone please think.

The world would be a much better place if you'll just think.

You could save everyone from hurt.

So, I thank you :)

I don't know what's the so for HAHA ( I meant the title)

So, yeah as you can see I'm back in like days,

I normally don't do that right?

School started and I wasn't that busy mostly because we still don't have textbooks for this term

So I still kind of free.

Well, I came back mostly because I'm emo.

I mean that's what blogs are for right?

Anything happens, tell blog first.

SO, as my title has told you, I wanted to say thankyou.

This was supposed to be in my new year's eve post

but I guessed I got carried away. HAHA

So, now back to the topic 

(I'm using a lot of so's today -.-)

SO I THANK YOU

I bet most of us are like me.

We are never happy with life.

It's the truth.

Ungrateful brats.

You know, when pastors and elders in the church tells me

" Hey, God has a perfect plan for you. You are predestined cause God loves you and your life is perfect because God plans it"

'"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"' Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

But you know it's really hard to believe when you have issues in life.

As much as I love God, I used to wonder why has God put so many troubles in my life?

And sometimes it's like nobody really knows me except myself.

It's like a one man's war on earth.

But I thank God for letting me understand now.

I think God has put people to hurt me in my life to let me know how painful it is to be hurt.

How hurtful it is to be rejected.

How some comments are so mean that it hurts inside out.

SO THAT I REMEMBER THE PAIN AND NOT INFLICT IT ON ANYONE ELSE.

So thank you for people who has hurt me.

Because it has made me into a better person.

I know how painful it is so I try my best not to hurt others.

Thank God also for putting assholes in my life.

And God really has the perfect plan for me.

So when people hurt you next time, 

Say thank you for making me a better person.

And thank you for making me see the true colours so I won't continue to live in your lies.

2012, 2013

It's that time of the year again where humans calls it new year's eve.

And the time of the year again for me to remember my blog and actually do something about it.

I've neglected my blog for too long now.

And I'm sorry blog.

I wanted to do this a few days ago

but I just didn't have the time.

I found the app for blogger and thought I could blog regularly 

because I'm always on my phone

but sadly, I don't know how to use it, way too confusing for me.

was up till 2AM this morning trying to figure it out but failed.

So, if anyone reading this knows how to use it (android one)

Please teach me okay?

So, 2012 was basically BUSY. I guess.

PLKN, school and shits.

So sorry that I haven't blogged about PLKN.

Was to busy to do so.

I went back to to school right after PLKN. 

Crazy right?

I know.

So last year I finished my Form 5 and SPM 

I JUST REALISED I HAVEN'T BLOGGED ABOUT MY RESULTS 

I was so caught up in this crazy whirlwind.

So, SPM RESULTS was okayyy I guess,

I was disappointed lah. But It's still okay lah. But I got sad xia lah

8A's and 2B's 

I aimed for straight A's but well I didn't. Whatever.

Bahasa Malaysia- A

English- A+

Chinese- A- (miraculously)

Maths- A

Add.Maths- A-

Physics- A-

Chemistry-A-

Biology- B+

Sejarah- A-

Moral- B+

I've never expected my moral and Biology to get B+ based on the results I got in school

But anyway, It's all over now.

I didn't apply to any colleges, uni whatsoever

I didn't know what happened to me HAHA

And I regretted and now I'm stuck with Form6 ugh

Then came PLKN.

PLKN, Program Latihan Khidmat Negara, National service.

Ya, you must be like awww, what a pity

BUT NO YOU'RE DEAD WRONG

IT'S SO FUN I CAN'T EVEN

Basically, I learnt a lot and MET LOTS OF AWESOME PEOPLE

And bald guys can be hot too I mind you.

I went in on Mother's Day. 

Felt so sorry for my mom that she had to send me in 

We had PT Pagi everyday.

Which is asdfghjkl cause we had to wake up like 5AM crazy and do exercise

I mean I don't even wake up that early for school

But still I managed to pull through for 2 and a half months.

Then, we'll have breakfast.

After that we'll bathe and prepare for classes

Though the water is so freaking cold but it's really relieving after intense exercise.

Yeah, and I did lose some weight( yayers) and gain some back after I came out

Classes are the best part.

You get to understand yourself better. 

It's all in BM but well, you'll get used.

I LOVE CLASSES IDK WHY HAHAHAH

I've missed PK3 and KN2

We have tea break at 10AM

Then after classes we'll have lunch break till 2PM 

But we normally sleep cause it takes up too much energy

Then at 3 we'll have another tea break HAHA

And around 4 PM we'll sometimes Kawad kaki which is marching

or be released back to our dorms earlier to bathe and rest.

Then we'll have to hantar dobi which is laundry

Our clothes we have to wash ourselves but clothes issued to us by them you could send them to the laundry

Cool right.

At around 7PM we'll have dinner and sit there doing nothing till 9PM 

Then our trainers would brief us for the next day or reprimand us when something goes wrong that day

10 PM supper

Finally at 11PM we are released back to our dorms for bed

Lights out at 11.30PM

That's basically our schedule everyday.

Saturdays and Sundays are mostly free.

Saturday mornings are usually for ceramah and all that

OH I won 2 reload cards from Shell during one of the ceramah

HAHAHAHA

The penceramah said I am brilliant

And that I should give people chances HAHA

The highlights of the whole thing were wira jaya, which is jungle trekking and camping

and the obstacle race thingy which I forgot what's the name ALPHA WIRAWATI DAPAT JUARA TAU?

Pertandingan Kawad kaki too 

OH and the aktiviti we did for kelas Kenegaraan The whole unity thingyTHAT WAS AWESOMEEEE

Hari penutupan I guess HAHA

I MISSED MY DORM MATES SOOOOOO MUCH

ACTUALLY I MISSED THE WHOLE ALPHA

ALPHA UZAZAZAH!!!!!!!!

And we parted our ways with tears and snot

Yeah everyone's crying including guys.

I missed everyone especially those from KL

Learned KL slang and a little bit of Iban and my BM improved so much

Oh and bahasa sarawak the slang so cuteee

I'm a sarawakian but I never knew it actually existed HAHA

I like when they say Merah Boring HAHAA

I'm too lazy to upload pictures they're all on my Facebook

So after PLKN, I went to Form 6 which is so shitty

Cause it's so HARDDDDD

Struggling hard to survive

Failed in all subjects in my trials

So I'm not really sure how WELL I did in my first term

Don't care cause next year is coming!!! and I SWEAR I MUST DO WELL

MUST. MUST. MUST

School's starting in like 2 days SOOOOOOOOO I must do well

Which brings me to MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

But first to things I learn throughout this year.'

Lesson #1
is to not be too good to people.
People like me tend to go overboard with feelings
When I like people no matter who family or friends or crushes
I tend to be bombarded with feelings
it's like 99.9999% for others
and 0.0001 for myself
and in the course of this I got hurt a lot of times
Just because of a thing I absolute have no control of.
It's so unfair ain't it?

Lesson #2
is to stop giving out second chances
I've been giving out too many chances to so many people and people just take my forgiveness for granted
I don't get why
Was it something I say or did that I get such a shitty treatment?
You think I'm strong but I'm not
I don't get why people just change so fast

Lesson#3
is to always be true to myself
Cause when you trick yourself into believing something you're not
you tend to hurt yourself and others too

Lesson#4
is to not trust so much
cause thing is you'll just get hurt a lot.

Then, comes my so called new year resolutions which i write up every year but never keep them.
But I still do it out of habit.
HAHA
1. is of course to lose weight and this is like on top of my list since forever
2. Study really really hard
3. have more time for God and learn to act in faith
4. Grow spiritually
5. not waste so much time on useless stuff ie: guy thing
6. be a better person
7. have more compassion on others
8. to not be so prideful
9. get rid of all acne scars and acne of course
10. not be so trusting
11. be stronger
12. be better than 2012
13. Stick to all the above throughout 2013

I really stick to it for like the first two weeks and then you know what happens after it
I hope to really stick to all of this in the coming year.
Last but not least HAPPY NEW YEAR YOOOO

P/S: I'm counting down to the release of I Got A Boy by SNSD
PP/S: Infinite H which is dongwoo and hoya, know that I love you and Congrats on your debut
PPP/S: 2PM PLEASE COME BACK NEXT YEAR KIDARIYO JONGMAL OPPA BOGOSHIPO
NICHKHUN OPPA PLEASE START TWEETING AGAIN I LOVE YOU MOST. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

大人真复杂！

大人真的超级超级无敌的复杂！

根本不明白他们脑袋装些什么，想些什么。

明明很简单，再也简单不过的东西也可以想到那么复杂。不能单纯一点吗？

很简单的一句话也可以想那么多。

人家可能明明就没这个意思却能被人家误会。

冷汗直流！！

傻眼== 

很讨厌呐～！我们小孩是很单纯很简单的啊！

为什么要把你们大人那些无聊的沟通方式污染我们？！

唉，在这里打抱不平什么？

 算了算了。

呃。最近就比较忙了。

好久没更新部落格。嘻嘻。。惊讶吧～本姑娘用中文呐！可能因为小说的影响吧！

最近都追些有的没的小说，也通宵了几天 ，呜～黑眼圈啊 /.\

不过也挺好看的啦，让我从新回到中学时想学人家当作者。可笑吧～

想回以前那种简单的快乐，有些感触。唉，以前活在幸福中不知福啦！

现在确确实实的不是中学生才来怀念。

人嘛，总是很奇怪啦，总让美好事物如流沙从指缝溜走！

以前恨不得赶快毕业，现在毕业了却后悔当初浪费时间，没跟同学们制造些美丽回忆.

现在满脑子都在想该读什么，自己兴趣在哪，怎么个读法较便宜。

哎，以前都不必烦这些啦。

我应该读什么好？

烦啊!!!!!><

MOM. I Salute you.

Dear MOM,

You're totally the strongest person I know on Earth.

You are a chief cornerstone, that braves through bad weather.

You may be nagging and annoying sometimes.

But I want you to know that

Mom, I truly and sincerely love you, Cross my heart.

Dear readers, you may think Mother's Day is a little bit far. 

But no, this is not for Mother's Day.

I sincerely thinks my Mom is the strongest, bravest human on Earth.

Things happened in the house.

But then she's still going about her life. 

Though inside her, her heart is aching.

No one knows. But if I were to be in her shoes, I would react totally differently.

I would waste away, crying my eyes out.

But my Mom didn't.

I love her from the bottom of my heart.

XOXO

2012

2012, Let's see...

So far so good.

Today is the 7th of January.

This is my first post this year.

So, yeah. I broke one of  my new year resolutions which is the first one.

(If you don't get what I say refer previous post)

Been eating non stop.

Yeah, that's so me.

I broke it the instant I made it.

AMAZING HUH?

This is what they meant by SOME PROMISES WERE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!

Har har. Funny, no?

OMG. It has been raining cats and dogs, frogs and tadpoles, sheep and lamb, cow and chicken, tom and jerry ( that's quite a lot of animals :P) 

All I wanted to say is it's been raining NON STOP.

Gosh, I think there's something wrong with the piping system up there. 

No kiddin' mannnn.

The rain that came down the past few days is able to feed the whole country.

 So today when I woke up, I SAW THE SUN

YAY! 

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not a sun person or an outdoor person.

Not so much of a fan of the sun.

But then it's looked so gloomy the past few days that I felt gloomy too.

So, I took down the curtains and washed them.

The house looked fresh too with sunlight!

There's been lots of talk going on that the world is ending this year.

Just because of the Mayan's calender which decided to just stop this year.

And the movie 2012 wanted to make the whole world paranoid.

I mean yeah, the world IS ending some day.

But 2012? that's so near.

Plus I'll be 19 this August.

Life just started mannnnnnnnn.

Prime time of my life.

Plus, the Bible says that the time will come as a thief.

Well, if people predicted it, it won't happen right? :)

My theory laaaaa.

Gotta continue with spring clean! 

Ciao~ :D